the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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