i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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