I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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