Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
