i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
