Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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