Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
