Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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