if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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