So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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