Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
