Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
