btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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