You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
