really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
