But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
