so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
