with your own penis?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
