We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
