so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
