there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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