Buhtt sex?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
