OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
