Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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