Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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