I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
