Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
