He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
