from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
