i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
