Dual....:-)
one two three fourrrrnication!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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