"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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