Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
A+ Viking dick
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
