Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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