You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
