dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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