I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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