You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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