Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
