I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
