just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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