The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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