the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He shit in the fireplace
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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