There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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