My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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