I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
