I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
