My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Holy sore nipples Batman
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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