There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
