Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
a search helicopter?!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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