When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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