Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
